It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
