R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
