Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
