Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
