I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
