My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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