did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
