its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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