you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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