I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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