Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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