Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
