Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I got inside last night via doggy door
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
