Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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