Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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