better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
