Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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