i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
