Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
whose parrot is this?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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