my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
