We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
