Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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