if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
