I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
there is puke in my bra ... again
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
