she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
