Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
