i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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