Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
