You're my little dorito
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
