dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's just like the Real World with babies
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
