butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
