Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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