id be glad to
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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