using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i think i just lost a toe
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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