Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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