Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
