The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
