1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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