2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
