So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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