If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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