I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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