never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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