No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
my liver is dry heaving
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I love you.
Bad choice
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