I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
