I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
