it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
