I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
