it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
