a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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